Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Assholes Among Us - DOT-COMM!!

Assholes Among Us – DOT-COMM !!
Original article on: http://www.assholesamongus.com/
Brought to you by: Jozi Rively, and David Todeschini,
Posted by: David Todeschini
Web site: http://www.net4truthusa.com/
Book Catalog: www.Net4TruthUSA.com/bookstore.htm
Bookstore: www.LuLu.com/Net4TruthUSA/
Other Blogs: www.Net4TruthUSA.com/blogs.htm

IF YOU DON'T READ THIS.... YOU WILL MISS SOMETHING EXTREMELY HILARIOUS.
ASSHOLES ARE AMONG US....
YES,THEY ARE.
IF YOU HAVE YOUR EYES OPEN, YOU CAN'T MISS 'EM.
WE HAVE PROFILED A FEW OF THEM HERE.... (see: www.AssholesAmongUs.com )
BUT BY NO MEANS HAVE WE COVERED ALL OF THEM.
THAT WOULD BE A FULL-TIME JOB,
AND TAKE MANY MORE LIFETIMES THAN THE GOOD LORD HAS ALLOTTED TO ME.
YES,ASSHOLES ARE AMONG US....
SOME ARE MORE OBVIOUS THAN OTHERS;
SOME ARE ASSHOLES ON THE DOWN-LOW;SOME WILL NEVER BE SUSPECTED OR DISCOVERED.
SOME ARE VENERATED AS HEROES BY THOSE WHO ARE UNWITTING ASSHOLES....
BUT NONETHELESS....
ASSHOLES ARE AMONG US....

IF YOU HAVE A CAMERA, YOU CAN TAKE PICTURES.
IF YOU HAVE A DIGITAL TAPE RECORDER....
WELL, YOU CAN TAPE THEM....
SANS THE "TAPE".
ISN'T TECHNOLOGY MARVELOUS?
ASSHOLES ARE LIKE OPINIONS....
EVERYBODY'S GOT ONE.
IF THEY EVER LOSE IT, THEY'RE IN DEEP SHIT....
I MEAN REALLY DEEP SHIT.
THEN THEY DIE....THEY DIE SLOWLY,AND IN PAIN.
'CAUSE THEY CAN'T FART, EITHER....
PRAYING FOR AN ENEMA,BUT NEVER GETTING ONE.
OR AT LEAST A FEW DROPS OF BEAN-O FOR THEIR TACO BELL BURRITOS.
THEY CAN'T GET AN ENEMA,'CAUSE THERE'S NO PLACE TO PUT THE NOZZLE.
ARE THERE ASSHOLES AMONG US?
IS THAT A RHETORICAL QUESTION?
HELL, THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!
YOU CAN'T GET AWAY FROM THEM.
THAT'S WHY WE PUT UP THIS WEB SITE.
I'M SURPRISED THE URL WAS AVAILABLE.
MUST BE PROVIDENCE....
NAHHHH !THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PROVIDENCE....AND JUST PLAIN DUMB LUCK.
WOULD YOU PAY $10,000 TO OWN http://www.assholesamongus.com/ ?HUH?
I SHOULD PUT IT ON E-BAY.
HELL....THAT GIVES ME ANOTHER BRAIN-STORM....
I SHOULD START ANOTHER WEB SITE....
LIKE I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH SHIT TO DO ALREADY.
MY OWN WEB SITE....TO BE CALLED A-BAY
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE TOO SHARP....TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE "A" STANDS FOR.
I CHECKED IT OUT....
"A-BAY.COM" IS ALREADY TAKEN....
SHIT!JUST MY LUCK....
I GET A GOOD IDEA....
AND SOMEBODY ALREADY STOLE IT FROM ME!
YOU WOULD THINK THAT THEY COULD WAIT....
UNTIL I HAD THE IDEA....
TO STEAL IT FROM ME.
STORY OF MY LIFE!
BUT....IF I HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY ASSHOLE....
I COULD BUY MICROSOFT OFF OF BILL GATES....
OUT OF PETTY CASH.
IN THE FOLLOWING MONTHS - YOU WILL SEE....
YOU'LL SEE MORE ASSHOLES THAN YOU EVER DREAMED EXISTED.
YOU'LL HAVE ASSHOLES COMIN' OUT YOUR ASSHOLE!
DON'T EVER CALL MY BLUFF....'CAUSE I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU.
I'LL MAKE YOU EAT YOUR DOUBT....
YOU WILL BE A BELIEVER....
WE WILL MAKE BELIEVERS OUT OF ALL OF YOU HERETICS.
SHORTLY....ALL IN GOOD TIME.
ALL IN GOOD TIME.
WAIT, AND SEE....YOU'LL SEE.
WHEN YOU TYPE: www.AssholesAmongUs.com
IT WILL TAKE YOU TO SOMEWHERE ELSE....OTHER THAN HERE....
OTHER THAN THIS REDIRECTED DOMAIN PAGE, I MEAN....
WHICH IS ONLY TEMPORARY.WE GOTTA' SET UP THE HOSTING....
BUT WE GOTTA' DEVELOP SOMETHING TO PUT ON THE SITE FIRST....
THIS HERE IS JUST A TASTE....
Y'HEAR?
Y'HEARD?
JUST A TASTE....
A MORSEL....
BUT EVENTUALLY, THIS WILL BE ITS OWN WEB SITE....
WHERE THERE WILL BE SOMETHING TO LOOK AT....
WHERE THERE WILL BE SOMEONE TO GOOF ON....
WHERE THERE WILL BE SOMEBODY WHO IS PERHAPS A BIT LESS FORTUNATE THAN YOU ARE....
WHO YOU CAN LAUGH AT....
BUT YOU CAN GET A TASTE OF IT NOW.
FRIGGIN' AYE!!
YOU LIKE THIS, DON'T YOU?
YOU SICK BASTARD, YOU!
SMOKIN' THAT SHIT, AREN'T YOU?
YEAH....HOW DID I KNOW?
YOU READ THIS FAR,THAT'S HOW!
AND YOU'RE SO DAMN STONED,THAT YOU'RE GONNA' KEEP READING....
AIN'T YA?
AYE!...I KNEW IT ALL ALONG.
PEOPLE WHO USE THE WEB GET ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER....
BUT THEY CAN'T CLICK OFF MY PAGE!
HOW COME?
DUNNO....
I GUESS I GOT A KNACK FOR THIS SHIT.
GOD GIVES EVERYBODY A UNIQUE TALENT.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT MINE IS....
I MEAN, I HAVE SO MANY,I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE IS UNIQUE.
BUT I KNOW GOD DID IT.
HE GETS BLAMED FOR SO MUCH BAD STUFF....
LIKE CALLING HURRICANES AND EARTHQUAKES, "ACTS OF GOD"....
I'LL BET HE'S SURPRISED SOMEBODY FINALLY BLAMED HIM FOR SOMETHING GOOD....
GOOD STUFF HAPPENS HERE.
OR IT WILL, SOON.
SO YOU'LL WANT TO BOOKMARK THIS PAGE ( www.AssholesAmongUs.com).
SAVE IT FOR POSTERIORITY (pun intended)
E-MAIL IT TO YOUR FRIENDS....
E-MAIL IT ANONYMOUSLY TO YOUR ENEMIES....
ON SECOND THOUGHT....
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO MAKE SOMEONE YOU HATE, LAUGH?
SEND HIM A TURD IN THE MAIL, INSTEAD.
MAKE SURE TO WRAP IT IN SARAN WRAP, FIRST....
THIS WAY, THE MAILMAN WILL NEVER SUSPECT....
AND THE DOGS AT THE POST OFFICE WON'T FIND IT....
NO PUN INTENDED.BECAUSE YOU CAN GET ARRESTED.
DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN GET 2-TO-6 FOR MAILING SHIT-BOMBS?
THE PATRIOT ACT, Y'KNOW?....THEY GOT YOU COMIN' AND GOIN'....
HELL....
THEY GOT YOU WHILE YOU'RE HERE....
DOIN' NOTHIN'....
TURN THIS SHIT OFF NOW....
BEFORE THE FBI SUBPOENAS RECORDS FROM YOUR SERVICE PROVIDER....
AND LEARNS YOU'VE BEEN ON THIS WEB SITE.
WE'RE ALREADY ON THEIR SHIT LIST....
DO YOU WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH US?
YEAH?....WELL THEN....
YOU WANT TO VISIT THIS PAGE OFTEN....
'CAUSE IF YOU NEVER SEEN ASSHOLES....
YOU'RE GONNA SEE SOME REAL ASSHOLES....
AND SOME REALLY SMART PEOPLE ACTING LIKE ASSHOLES....
INTENTIONALLY....
I MEAN --- JUST TO GET THE THING STARTED, Y'KNOW WHADD-I MEAN?Y'HEARD?
AND WHO KNOWS?
WE MIGHT GET SOME SERIOUS HITS ON THIS SITE....
AND WHO KNOWS?
WE MIGHT RUN INTO SOME RICH ASSHOLES
AND THEY MAY WANT TO PAY US TO DO THIS SHIT.
SO THEY CAN PUT THEIR POP-UP ADS ON THE PAGES....
AND PISS ALL OF YOU GOOD PEOPLE OFF.
THAT'D BE SOME SHIT, WOULDN'T IT?
ARE YOU SURPRISED THAT PEOPLE BUY SHIT FROM POP-UP ADS?
YOU GOTTA' BE AN ASSHOLE, FOR REAL!
WELL, YOU GOTTA' REMEMBER....THIS IS AMERICA.
IN AMERICA, YOU CAN SELL VIAGRA....
IN AMERICA, YOU CAN SELL ROGAINE....
IN AMERICA,
YOU CAN SELL CRESTOR AND MARGARINE TO THE SAME CUSTOMER....
IN AMERICA, YOU CAN SELL CIALIS ("see Alice")....I
N AMERICA, PEOPLE HAVE A DIET COKE WITH THEIR 4,000-CALORIE CHEESECAKE....
AND IF ONE CALORIE WASN'T ENOUGH....
NOW THEY'VE COME UP WITH COKE ZERO....
IT'S LIKE YOU DRINK DIET COKE....
AND THAT ONE CALORIE GOES RIGHT TO YOUR ASS....
AND THEN THERE'S JOHN BASEDOW....
PLEASE....
DON'T GET ME STARTED!
IN AMERICA, YOU CAN GIVE KIDS PEPPERMINT PROZAK....
AND GET AWAY WITH IT.
REALLY!
YOU THINK I'M BULL-SHITING YOU, DON'T YOU?
WELL, I'M NOT.
IT'S EASIER TO TELL THE TRUTH;
YOU DON'T HAVE TO REMEMBERALL THE VARIATIONS OF BULLSHIT STORIES YOU HAVE TO TELL PEOPLE.
DON'T BELIEVE ME ABOUT KIDS AND PEPPERMINT PROZAK?
READ THE ARTICLE, AND GET THE LITERATURE FROM THE LINK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE.
SOME SHIT, AIN'T IT?
CAN'T BLAME THE MESSENGER FOR THE MESSAGE.
THE TRUTH IS FUNNY ENOUGH - OR TRAGIC ENOUGH....
THAT LYING ABOUT IT WOULD SCREW-UP THE PUNCH LINE.
IN AMERICA, THERE ARE MEN THAT WANT TO STRETCH THEIR DICKS WITH A VACUUM PUMP.
IN AMERICA, THERE ARE WOMEN WHO INJECT BOTULISM TOXIN (BOTOX) INTO THEIR FOREHEADS....
IN AMERICA YOU CAN SELL 5-CENT BAGS OF POTATO CHIPS FOR A DOLLAR....
IN AMERICA, SOME PEOPLE BUY $15,000 TOILET BOWLS....
YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, DO YOU?
DO I HAVE TO PROVE IT TO YOU AGAIN?.
IN SOME PLACES, YOU CAN GET FOUR DOLLARS FOR A SLICE OF PIZZA....
AND YOU CAN GET JUST AS MUCH....
MAYBE MORE....
FOR A GALLON OF GAS....
THAT IS, IF YOU CAN PULL OFF A 9-11
AND BLAME IT ON OSAMA BIN LADEN....
DON'T GET ME WRONG.
HE PROBABLY MASTERMINDED THE ATTACKS....
BUT HE HAD HELP.
HE HAD HELP FROM OUR OWN GOVERNMENT.
BELIEVE IT.
YOU CAN TELL AMERICANS THAT LEE HARVEY OSWALD SHOT JOHN F. KENNEDY....
AND THEY'LL BELIEVE IT.
IN AMERICA....
YOU CAN TELL PEOPLE THAT THE TALIBAN WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR 9-11
AND THEY'LL BELIEVE IT.
YOU CAN TEACH EVOLUTION IN THE SCHOOLS AND CALL IT "SCIENCE"....
AND THEY'LL BELIEVE IT.
WHY?
HELL....
WHY?
WHY DO THEY BELIEVE NONSENSE AND OUTRIGHT BULLSHIT?
YOU ASK, WHY?
BECAUSE THEY'RE ASSHOLES,THAT'S WHY!
IF YOU CAN PROVE THAT MAN CAME FROM A MONKEY....
THERE'S A $250,000 REWARD WAITING.....
NO BULL!
WHAT YOU KNOW, AND TWO DOLLARS AND ELEVEN CENTS,
BUYS YOU A TALL HAZELNUT AT STARBUCKS....
BUT AT LEAST YOU CAN BRING YOUR LAPTOP OR NOTEBOOK....
AND GET ON THE INTERNET.
AND RUN INTO SHIT LIKE THIS.
BUT THIS AIN'T NO BULLSHIT.
WE MAKE IT FUNNY....
SO YOU'LL REMEMBER IT....
SO IT SINKS IN.
AND WHEN YOU FIND OUT IT'S TRUE,
IT WILL CEASE TO BE FUNNY,
AND WE WILL HAVE ACCOMPLISHED THE MISSION.
THIS WILL HAVE ACHIEVED THE INTENDED PURPOSE.
IN AMERICA, YOU CAN SELL THE WAR ON TERRORISM....
IN AMERICA, YOU CAN SELL CHROME PLATED DOG SHIT....
IN AMERICA, YOU CAN TELL LIES AND GET AWAY WITH IT....
IN AMERICA, YOU CAN HAVE THE I.Q. OF A DOORKNOB AND BE PRESIDENT.
I GUESS WHAT THE NUNS TOLD ME IN CATHOLIC GRAMMAR SCHOOL WAS TRUE AFTER ALL....
ANY ASSHOLE CAN BE PRESIDENT.
AND WE'VE SEEN PLENTY OF EXAMPLES OF JUST HOW TRUE THAT IS, HAVEN'T WE?

ANY ASSHOLE CAN BE PRESIDENT....
AS LONG AS HE IS A MEMBER OF THE CLUB....
WHATEVER YOU WISH TO CALL IT.
GOD HELP US!
IS THAT A PRAYER OR A COMMAND?
YOUR ARMS ARE TOO SHORT TO BOX WITH GOD, BUDDY!
DON'T FORGET THAT.
IF YOU DO, YOU'RE LIKELY TO GET YOUR ASS WHUPPED.
GOD IS THE MASTER OF WHUP-ASS.
I JUST WISH HE'D SEND THE LIGHTNINGS MORE OFTEN.
IN AMERICA, YOU CAN ASSASSINATE A PRESIDENT
AND GET AWAY WITH IT.....
IF YOU KNOW THE RIGHT PEOPLE.
BE THAT AS IT MAY.
WHO CARES ANYMORE?
THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
PEOPLE CAN'T SEE THAT WHAT HAPPENED ON NOVEMBER 22, 1963....
IS RELEVANT TO WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THIS COUNTRY TODAY....
BECAUSE THE SAME PEOPLE THAT PLOTTED JFK'S MURDER,
ARE WORKING BEHIND THE SCENES RIGHT NOW.
I BELIEVE THAT IT WON'T BE LONG BEFORE AMERICA FALLS.
IT WILL BE LIKE NAZI, GERMANY....
ONLY WORSE!
HOWEVER....
IN THE MEANTIME....
I BELIEVE THAT IN AMERICA.....
PEOPLE....NORMAL PEOPLE....
PEOPLE WITH AN I.Q. ABOVE THAT OF A MONGOLIAN YAK....
WOULD LIKE A WEB SITE WHERE THEY CAN GET AWAY FROM THE BLOODY TV FOR A MINUTE....
AND GET SOME GOOD BELLY LAUGHS.....
'CAUSE ASSHOLES ARE ALWAYS FUNNY....
AND SOME OF THE BOOGERS ARE BLOODY HILARIOUS.
EVEN IF THEY COVER THEM UP.
I BELIEVE THAT IN AMERICA.....
PEOPLE....NORMAL PEOPLE....
PEOPLE WITH AN I.Q. THAT EXCEEDS THEIR SHOE SIZE....
WOULD LIKE A WEB SITE WHERE THEY CAN LEARN THE TRUTH
WHILE LAUGHING THEIR ASS OFF....
LAUGHTER IS BETTER THAN PSYCHIATRY.
HELL, ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN PSYCHIATRY!
STAY TUNED.
WE CAN HELP YOU.
THIS IS LIKE THERAPY....
COGNITIVE THERAPY.
YOU'LL SEE....YOU'LL GET BETTER.
Visit the web site at www.AssholesAmongUs.com

2 comments:

SeaLou said...

Hmm...That's getting more and more interesting to me..



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Jeff Guy 2525 said...

(Now I feel like a real good asshole)My IQ is being challenged.
Jeff